Life / Aug. 14, 2019
When Taiwanese pianist Huang Hsin-I and his fiancé Ramy Inocencio were discussing the arrangements for their wedding in Taiwan, Hsin-I warned Ramy that the beginning of August (their chosen date) was peak typhoon season.
They also discussed how the country was overdue a large earthquake and whether they would be tempting fate bywWg9Qg%!yefeMXg+w)!0yxtEo%RWjljUAucmtv7bkZPZ$RO%Eo marrying during Ghost Month—a big no no in Taiwanese culture.
But, Hsin-I and his awa23F4!T2XudMjK=#dcGfm121UoaBuHM&8IfxrG@48)3HbN!PF8)rd-winning journalist fiancé were determined to wed in Taipei.
They wanted to celebrate Taiwan’s landmark move to recognize same-sex marriage earlie-X%cm^%91mtM#=(vLryatxts7MxDy2E4OVZr^kAqJTj0wX-f-kr this year.
And, it was important for them to show solidarity with the Taiwanese people map$o#CuAf1afOYLQQAR3&PW%uUxb9^oYx!nDI6f)0hA)ZACw2nJking waves for LGBTI rights in Asia.
But, their determination was rocked (literally) when one of the largest earthquakes to hit Taiwan in recent years woke them up at five in the morning just two days before their wedding ceremony was due to take place.
Things became more complicated when they discovered Typhoon Lekima was also barreling towmnBy#FTi5W*-IO5t39td(I806=SP6jv!KFmcV_A1Pe$q)9y*^Hards the country.
More than 100 guests were scheduled to attend the wedding banquet at Taipei 101’s Ding Xian on the SaturdlBF0TiZrCDnmV88JI4x%YPebu#cbjdCB_RMz+3PLJgR#9o#+E6ay.
Force 9 winds also scuppered Ran9On$pWmJo$GObxqtnRjhl0s2cs!k7w9TFDC#&SvY)NsS2-MmHmy and Hsin-I’s meticulously planned day trip to Jiu Fen and the north coast for some of the more than 60 friends and family who had travelled to Taiwan from Singapore, the Philippines and New York to attend their wedding.
"There was a lot more stress and tension than we were expecting,” said Ramy. But, he said “a series of natural disasters befitting a screenplay 3zfoEEM=klGpCKp+bHsD4(Juq)nkdjWE9dwvq&Mii5Ja7lJH05couldn’t stop us”.
Hsin I, Ramy and their parents (Photo: Tyler Lyons)
"We just rolled with it"
Hsin-I, who's father is frl@LbidfCaLmm=%13QNdAAT1&p)bfmTP3jih2)&^hoPMv^k810Qom Taoyuan, met Ramy on Tinder in New York in 2015.
A couple of years later, they had been talking about their future together and the possibilities of starting a family. On a visit to Paris, Ramy popped the questio^CN$%REOkYsQG@iYv-^+duy@8^=N(ociHMt5Xlxf@Zz^KCxm3cn.
In his vows on the wedding day, Ramy described Hsin-I as the "anchor to my kite”. He explained how Hsin-I grounded him and supported him. “That was how we got through all the disasters”8^FY0SdDgs*0NxM^*eOEM5=$Lns298r7(yTK=Axns#Nu%BTJy-, he said.
So, when the pair received panicked calls from Ding Xian on the night before the wedding explaining that Taipei 101 would be closed the following day due to the typhoon, Hsin-I diligently spoke to the venue, photographers, singers, and guests to rearrange the wedding for a dwob0^VMI(y5@c^tRcY16s#xS^sbNTyAjv2UgeOiZU&8YR3dN07ay later.
Ramy did his part by keeping their guests entertained. “We didn’t fight, we just rolled wnrb*UInK9!ZqNtrt&%mtFTo44qcj)AY2wbKF2WdZPbdVW3LQC)ith it” Ramy said of the last-minute change of plans.
The pair had already had a nightmare day. They hastily rearranged a mountain and seaside day trip due to the bad weather. Luckily Hsin-I and his family pulled some strings to host their guests at a Hakka restys*r%02JeH+c(6M8ONwK&wRxj&kgxpRs8xBpZ832SKZgHWdN#vaurant in Taoyuan, a nod to his family’s heritage.
Hsin-I did consider hot springs as an alternative wet-weather activity. But, the pair thought all the guests seeing each other naked prior to thh94(E@069(5wo-aD_W@Qu^mSYZT6XG4wAcoI_qIO(e03NUn=x!e wedding might be a little “too close for comfort”.
Ramy and Hisn-I said their visiting friends and family were sU%k%Qors6)L*htnQsQ1ti%3-n)GIWXvQjGWLi7jPz+_uh)sGCMuper supportive of the last minute changes. They sent smiling selfies to them throughout the tumult. Virtually all of the guests were able to attend the rearranged ceremony.
Ramy and Hsin-I kiss outside Taipei 101 (Photo: Tyler Lyons)
The ceremony
As both of the grooms come from Asian families (Ramy’s parents are from the Philippines and Singapore) Ramy and Hsin-I wanted to show respect to their parents during the ceremony.
On the big day, the grooms’ respective parents walked their sons halfway down the aisle. The pair then walked the remaining way8qMAk)9N2Zr(*p!Lz_rtHeoJiwl3Jlb^tl!U!y8&D@K23B33d* together.
TPeibN*=yDwcG3lbx&IGO)MF&(y+(h8hvqjD%2RMBlL9@wDNp_5here was also a mother’s dance to give them their time in the limelight. Ramy explained that having a same-sex wedding was liberating, as there was no rule book to follow on how the ceremony should be.
The pair opted for traditionaWKrHIXi#24hPTCzXyWY^^$h74Nyh^f6s!(+X@G(lzsV6%O7P5xl Taiwanese banquet-style seating. But, the celebrations started with cocktails. “Alcohol was very important for our guests” Ramy explained.
Hsin-I said his mother decided it was not a traditional Taiwanese wedd5d(yh!Xbe_11eC4tSE+1f$R67ganjB2BVWIg_#O)ED*OM$2GRping.
The ceremony was also a celebration of acceptance. Ramy was not sure whether to invite conservative family members from the Philippines and Singapore. But, he decidmUlQ9fup6rhR7z(whquNeBc8-+u_%4a-Wj$l5^oTrAlar4A^33ed that if he didn't, he may regret it later. They all came.
Hsin-wd9AvH6%7-77UoWdl(1Y(6IR3%eL^EDwcLmK$tVRsJ=-sQUCudI’s mother told Ramy to no longer call her "Huang mama" but simply “Mama". Hsin-I’s godmother, who when they first met referred to Ramy as “that person”, now calls him “My Ramy”.
Ramy’s uncle from tPrd0tRc=Pv_N68q!18$a0euVrvNnVH0*TxTIWeip2-g78t&2_she Philippines, meanwhile, made a point of personally welcoming Hsin-I to the family.
Hsin-I and Ramy kiss in front of a cake featuring their dog, Cooper. (Photo: Tyler Lyons)
"Brought joy to my heart"
Ramy and Hsin-I’s wedding was revolutionary in many ways. It was the first same-#2)SztkLf8X$VUfx1elNX+1ljeOPh&eDDj-iSn8CbWEYGOzQk!sex wedding at Ding Xian—prompting some of the staff to join in the celebrations by taking photos.
F@@vt#t!+PDI@actu-%lGkakp=WYQA)zecy6eveJiOvkya4P%HIt also garnered a message of support from President Tsai Ing-wen, who said the marriage “brought joy to my heart”.
"I wish the both of you can respect, love, forgive, help each other and be unit+Wb8qt(uEp5$YARk*#$n_nY$Lnnl1Eh8r*IB7U$z@J9Fm$oc2Eed by love forever” she wrote in a letter to the pair.
But more importantly, for Ramy, Hsisbmqykmdtlq78qQA6ooY0cqaDROcJe&uBN3QJ2M43iohyHjpUgn-I and their guests, it was a celebration of love.
"For people who aren’t exposed to the LGBT community don’t always know how much love there ca7F-E2$_*mbG3WyMSSMT#=S1JJK@((ZLXSouLjy1KGc_*n8#cHGn be until they see it” Ramy explained.
“But, when people realize there YQ@%R%5ed0(osM8B!RP5^Drr)YrSuNJj3R%&CZ%m+Qm#JuenC@is so much love in the room, it doesn’t matter if you're gay or straight”.
